Though your children are adults, telling them that you are getting a divorce should be handled with care. It’s very important that both you and your spouse talk to them together. Beforehand, you and your spouse should decide what you’ll say together and stick to the script.
Approach the discussion with the same caring sensitivity that you would with young children. While they may be adults, learning about your divorce is still bound to be difficult for them.
Ways to gently break the news
While you hope that your children are understanding of the situation, no one wants to hear that their parents are divorcing. Your children may be upset or even angry. Do your best to respect their feelings and answer their questions. Make sure to tell them that:
- The two of you will always love them. Even adult children need this reassurance.
- They are not to blame. Just be careful not to throw your spouse under the bus. You do not want your children to feel like they are stuck in the middle. Approach the conversation with the understanding that your children love you both.
- Answer their questions. How will this affect future family events? Who will host Thanksgiving and Christmas? Are we expected to split the day between both of your houses? Take each question as they come and answer them with honesty.
- Remember that you are still mom and dad. No matter their ages, your adult children may feel like their world is falling apart. Give them whatever time they need to absorb the information and allow them to ask questions when they come up.
Divorce is never easy on the couple or their family. When you are ready to proceed, take a moment to consider all of your options. Help is available to assist you with the divorce process.