There is so much at stake in a divorce, especially if you share children. Therefore, it might seem logical to take a hardline stance to get what you believe you deserve — especially if you consider your spouse largely to blame for the end of your marriage.
There are several reasons this is not a great approach. Here are a few.
A judge has to balance multiple needs
A judge cannot give you everything you want, because they also need to consider the needs and rights of your spouse. They need to look at the situation and apply the laws to get the appropriate balance. That means each party is likely to have to sacrifice some of their goals.
If you share children, the judge must prioritize their best interests over either parent’s wishes. Usually, they try to strike a balance where the child gets to spend a reasonable amount of time with both parents.
Being too hardline can reflect badly on you
While it is certainly important to not roll over and accept the first thing your spouse offers, being too inflexible can look bad to any judge involved. It could also spur your spouse to take a harder stance themselves.
When the aim is to find a solution that is acceptable to both parties, you will both need to give a little ground to get there quicker. Not having a drawn-out combative divorce usually helps keep the cost down, too.
It’s not easy to find the right balance between being determined and flexible. Learning more about your legal rights and your options can help.